It’s in my blood, in my bones, and deep inside my brain, to be the one that’s chosen but I can’t stay the same.
My desire is embedded after years of no acceptance.
We want what we can’t have and when we get it, it’s a blessing.
Not treating it as such, is a fault of mine I confess.
Learning how to open up, before their hearts, too far I stress.
Comparing and competing, defending and defeating.
Making moves to overcome, drowning emotions until the day is
done.
Finally feeling and letting go, all to avoid the ebb and flow.
Travel into dreams, taking notes and shredding hopes.
Only to wake to the sun shining in, knowing that I’ll have to do it all again.
So how do I unlock, this never-ending bondage?
Buried is the key that breaks this cyclic curse.
Digging deep to find it as I find my way
Hoping, praying for a miracle to reveal a brand-new day.
Deep breaths, long walks, releasing tears, and visits to heaven in prayer.
A revelation of what I need, but of the route I’m unaware.
As I seek the map for this journey of uncertainty and closure.
What I want is to be cherished, no longer just chosen.
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